Our Wedding Night

I stood there waving at the bus as it pulled away from Dundas Castle, located near the Edinburgh Airport in Scotland.

Only a few hours earlier at the Castle, Melissa and I had said our vows of marriage in front of our family and friends to become husband and wife. After a long, exhausting day, things were finally coming to an end. Our wedding dinner was now over, the speeches were all over, the dance was over...and most of our sixty guests were on the rented bus I was waving goodbye to as they headed back to the houses we had rented in downtown Edinburgh.

Dundas castle didn't have that many rooms for guests so unfortunately there was not enough for all. Standing with me waving was Melissa and those remaining with us at the castle, namely; my parents, Melissa's sister and brother in law, their two young children, our minister, his wife, my best friends Justin Miller and Jeff O’Hara and Melissa's best friends, Tonya Jones and Tina Reid.

We had hired a celtic band to play our dance at the castle and they were busy inside packing up their gear.

As the bus drove out of sight, I let out a sigh of relief. At that moment, life was good. It was very good.

I've probably had only two or three moments like this, of pure happiness, one when Ty was born, and this moment here after my wedding.

I had just gotten married; we were in a castle…a real life castle! Our duties were done for the day and now the place was all ours.

The whole day I was so busy preparing for and taking part in the wedding, the photographs, the dinner, the speeches, etc... I had absolutely no time to enjoy the fact that we were in a castle.

As much as I say that we got married there because Melissa wanted to be a real princess that day, which is very much true, I have always loved regal looking castles. Maybe everyone does.

And this one was indeed regal. The Auld Keep of Dundas Castle, which is the oldest part of the building, a stone tower located within the castle walls, was built in the early 1400's for the purpose of being both a home in times of peace and a fortress in times of war. That is where our wedding ceremony took place. In the early 1800s the main castle was built around the Auld Keep and that is where the dinner and dance took place on the main floor and where the guest rooms were on the second floor. The castle part is exactly what you'd expect a King and Queen to live in...And for that night anyway, Melissa and I were that royal couple.

We even had our own butler. His name was Smith and he was an elderly man dressed in a tuxedo. His job was to be on call throughout the night to ensure the guests of the castle were looked after and taken care of. And he did take care of us; very much so.

The first thing Smith did was ask if we wanted to move into the library for drinks. I loved the fact that this place had its own private library…it made it feel like we were in a real game of ‘Clue’. At the back of the library, there was a small bar for our use and Smith offered to make us all something to drink.

The five band members came in to have a toast with us before leaving. We all had one drink together of scotch and they made a toast to Melissa and I and our life together.

After they left, most of the others went to bed. Within a short time all that remained in the library was Melissa, myself, Justin, Jeff, Tonya and Tina.

There we sat, sipping our drinks. Everyone was fairly quiet at this point, I think because the day had been so exhausting and we were just enjoying the calm of the evening. Myself and the other two guys were still very much sober at this point but the three ladies were feeling no pain as the three of them were enjoying celebration shots just prior to the bus going.

Melissa knew Tonya and Tina from Calgary, Alberta where the three of them attended high school together and where Tonya and Tina still lived.

During our past week in Scotland, Justin, Jeff and I didn’t get to know Tonya and Tina very well, compared to the other members of our group. While the rest of our guests had stayed in Edinburgh, Tonya and Tina decided to stay their week in Glasgow which was just less than an hour’s drive away. So, we didn't get to spend as much time with them.

I had met both Tonya and Tina a couple of times before when Melissa and I were visiting her parents in Calgary. Both seemed very nice and Melissa had nothing but good things to say about them. I had been told that when Tonya drank, she became a bit rough and opinionated, but I had never seen that side of her. Although she was drunk at this point, she was just sitting quietly.

As we sat and sipped our drinks, someone decided to break our silence. The conversation started innocently enough. Justin was asked what he did for a living and he mentioned he worked for the United Nations in Thailand. This led to some questions about the United Nations and international politics in general.

Out of seemingly nowhere, Tonya, who had been silent until this point, yelled out “How can you sleep at night working for the United Nations??"

The room went quiet. Justin had a look of surprise, his eyes and mouth wide open.

I just smiled and tried to diffuse the situation by saying, "Perhaps we shouldn’t discuss politics here" as I took a deep drink of my scotch.

Tonya it seemed had now officially become the 'Drunk, Opinionated Tonya' that Melissa had once warned me about. She continued, "You do know that the United Nations kills babies don't you? Babies!"

Smith walked into the library to see what the commotion was and Justin got out of his chair and walked over to the bookshelf on the other side of the room, pretending to read the covers of the books.

Tonya followed him.

"These Baby-Killers use people just like you to wage wars and destroy governments for their own political objectives".

Justin held out his hands as if to indicate to her not to come any closer, "Stop talking. I don't want to discuss the United Nations with you. You are drunk and acting like a total ass. Stop it".

I whispered to Melissa, "She's loaded. Can you please take her for a walk outside?"

"Let's just all go play pool together", Melissa responded pointing to the billiard room across the hall. It was then that I noticed how red Melissa’s eyes were, a sure sign that she had recently been smoking pot, one of her favourite past-times.

"You are so gullible!" Tonya was now yelling at Justin. "The babies! They kill babies!"

"Just take her for a walk. Please!", I begged to Melissa.

"FUCK OFF!" Justin growled back at Tonya.

"Let's all go play pool!" Melissa said with a laugh...as if pretending it was funny would magically diffuse the tension in the room. It did not.

At this point, I got angry.

Melissa wasn't listening to me. I was exhausted. It was supposed to be a special evening; our wedding night in a castle! Now, because of this idiot yelling at Justin, any chance of any relaxing, special memories were now gone.

"Fuck this!" I began. "Come on Justin, let's go upstairs to your room and have a drink", as I motioned to Jeff to come with us.

The three of us guys quickly got up and passed by Smith, who had been witness to the last few minutes and simply nodded understandingly. I had grabbed the bottle of scotch as we passed by the bar and we walked up to Justin's room at the top of the stairs.

Once the door to the room was closed, our tension instantly broke and the three of us just laughed.

I couldn't fucking believe what had just happened. What a crazy bitch, I thought to myself, shaking my head as I wore a little smile on my face.

We sat down and I re-filled our glasses. For a few minutes it was back to being good again.

That's when I heard the screech from downstairs.

"MAX! MAX!"

It was Tonya. Impossibly even more drunk now, yelling at us from downstairs.

"Consummate your marriage! Consummate your marriage!"

"What the fuck is she saying?" Justin asked.

"Commiserate?" Jeff questioned.

Apparently, Tonya was concerned that I had not yet consummated my marriage with Melissa. Yes, she was now yelling to me in a house full of my relatives to come have sex with my new wife. Perhaps she was feeling a little guilty for her behaviour but this wasn’t helping anything.

I wasn't going to leave this room for anything. All i did was get out of the chair and lock the door of the bedroom.

The yelling continued, in this high pitched wine, "Max! Your bride is down here! Consummate your marriage!"

That's when I heard Melissa's little niece, Lila, cry from the next room where she and her family were sleeping. Lila was only just a baby. She had awoken from Tonya's screams.

I was now wondering if the minister and his wife had also heard...and my parents! "Oh God", I sighed quietly.

There was a knock at the bedroom door. It was Smith.

"If I might have a word sir?" he asked from the other side of the locked door.

I opened the door to Smith who asked that I go down and speak with Tonya so as not to wake the rest of the house. He was right. So, I left Justin and Jeff and the bottle of scotch and started down the stairs with Smith.

By this time, Tina had gone to bed. While I had been upstairs, Melissa had gone from slightly tipsy and stoned to total inebriation.

As I slowly walked down the stairs beside Smith and towards Tonya who was waiting for us at the bottom, I could see Melissa in the library, sitting at the end of the couch. Her once pretty Vera Wang dress was now crumpled around her. Her hair was mussed up. Her eyes were bloodshot from smoking pot. She just sat there stoned, drunk and very quiet. What had been my beautiful princess was now more like Queen of the Trailer Park.

Tonya greeted me with a very slurred, "I had to get the butler to get you because you wouldn't come!"

She continued, "Your bride has been patiently waiting for you to consummate your marriage! When it was my wedding night my husband took me right in the limo!...right in front of the driver! That's the way it should be Max! That's the way it should be!"

Tonya was wasted. I mean, really wasted.

As she stood at the bottom of the stairs, she barely was able to hold herself straight. I looked over at Melissa who was looking rough and thought the two of them made quite the pair.

That’s when Tonya burst into tears.

I really didn’t know what to do at this point so I hugged her in an effort to keep her from crying.

I don't know why I thought that would work. I guess I was just exhausted and wanted this night to finally end...perhaps I just didn't have the energy to fight any more.

Whatever the reason, I hugged her. And she hugged me right back.

That’s when she really started to cry. And I mean sob. As if her emotional dam had broken and everything just released at once.

We probably held each other for ten full minutes as she buried her face into me and just wailed.

When she finally tired herself out, I walked her hand-in-hand over to the couch to where Melissa was. I sat down in between Melissa and Tonya. My one arm was around Tonya and my other hand was on Melissa's knee.

Tonya again buried her face into me and sobbed. Melissa silently held my hand.

And that is where the three of us stayed, staring, silently. For what seemed like hours. Truthfully I really don't know how long we were there.

After a long while, Tonya fell asleep on my shoulder in mid-cry. Melissa had fallen asleep too, head back against the couch and mouth open, snoring loudly beside me.

I carried Tonya up to bed. Although she was quite the spit-fire I doubt she weighed even a hundred pounds. As I carried her up to her room, she was half asleep, completely drunk and I think she just liked the idea of being carried. I opened the door to her room, put her into the bed, covered her up, and left, closing the bedroom door behind me.

I noticed that the light in Justin's room was now off. He and Jeff had gone to bed. My night in the castle was over.

I went down to Melissa and woke her up.

Melissa and I were not staying at the castle. Earlier in our planning of this day, Melissa had heard there was a stone and log cabin by a pond on the castle grounds and had decided that we'd stay there that night instead of the castle.

We were told that the cabin was over a hundred years old and it was very nice, but we hadn't seen it yet.

Smith came over to us and asked us if we wanted him to bring the car round. We were more than ready. Smith had to drive us as we had no other car there, and Melissa sure wasn't in a state to drive even if we did.

The ride there was pretty quiet. The moon was bright and the gravel road to the cottage was pretty rough and we could feel each bump as we drove along it.

The cottage was a couple of kilometers from the castle. It was very nice. However, it was much like any rustic cabin. I would have preferred to stay at the castle but I was just happy it was finally the end of a very long day.

Smith wished us a good night and pointed out the roses and champagne beside our bed that one of our friends had ordered for our room. No thanks I thought. There was no chance I was giving Melissa any more to drink, and I just wanted to sleep.

The cabin was dark and smelled musky. It did have electricity but it was very rustic. There was only one light to the room and no running water.

But there was a bed; a nice comfortable bed. I think I went to sleep as soon as my head hit the pillow. Melissa was still getting out of her dress as I drifted off.

I woke up in the middle of the night. There was a strange sound.

It was gasping.

I looked beside me towards Melissa but it was so dark without the light on I couldn't see much. I could hear her though. She was gasping for air.

Melissa has asthma. Although she doesn't experience many attacks, when it happens she requires an inhaler to help her breathe. She’s even had to go to the hospital on occasion.

I don't know what brought this one on; perhaps the muskiness of the cottage or her pot smoking earlier, or even the stress of the evening. Whatever started it, there she was beside me absolutely gasping for air.

I got out of the bed, turned on the light and went to her side. She was still able to talk, though barely, and only in gasps. The fact that she could talk meant it wasn't totally dire, but it was serious enough that I needed to get her the inhaler.

That's when she informed me that her inhaler was in her suitcase which was in Tonya's room at the castle. She had brought her suitcase there earlier in the day to get ready for the wedding.

There was no land-line phone in the cottage and my cell phone had no signal so we could not get ahold of Smith.

In a word, we were fucked.

I got dressed back into my tux, got on my dress shoes and started walking to the castle, which was, like I mentioned, a couple of kilometers away.

It was more difficult finding my way back to the castle because I couldn't see it and the road often split into different directions and I didn't pay close enough attention when we drove there to know exactly where to go.

But it was fairly bright because of the moon so I could make out at least fifty feet ahead at a time. Although I made a few wrong turns, I was able to quickly correct my path and make my way towards the castle.

But it was a long walk; my feet hurt and the road was bumpy and full of holes. My tux had now become uncomfortable as it was itchy and smelled like sweat. I was miserable.

Eventually though, I made it back to the castle and retrieved the inhaler from Tonya’s room. Smith was busy cleaning up and when he heard what happened, he offered to drive me back to the cabin.

The ride was once again, a quiet one, until the end. As we pulled up to the cabin, Smith turned to me and said, "You know what they say sir, a rough wedding night is indeed good luck for a long and happy life together". He smiled and gave a little laugh.

Then there was a long pause as his face slowly became more serious, as if he was about to pass on wisdom to a son. Perhaps he was thinking about everything that transpired over the evening.

"And even if that isn't true sir. That is okay too."

"Yeah Smith, that is okay too" I laughed, and got out of the car.