Penetrations and Erections
Ludka came by my desk one day and said in her thick Polish accent with a slight smile, “Max, I want to help you with your erections”.
Yeah, as if an engineer’s skin isn’t white enough, she had to go and say that. Visions of my worst nightmare entered my mind.
My face must have had a look of slightly confused mixed with scared because she followed with, “Your erections! Your penetrations and erections; I’d like to help you Max. We need to hurry this part”.
That's when I understood what she was talking about. Ludka was referring to some design work I was doing for her which involved erecting some brackets for nuclear valves and putting in several new penetrations through a containment wall for electrical cables.
Putting cable penetrations through a wall is a big deal at a nuclear plant as it requires regulatory approval. Ludka was worried that this work wasn't getting designed quickly enough to meet our schedule.
“I will bring you help Max!” and off she went, bobbing away like…well, a Big Chicken.
A few minutes later, I heard footsteps outside of my cubicle and knew exactly who it was. Bill, who was at least 104 years old, stood five feet tall and was shrinking more with every day was coming to see me.
Okay, maybe he wasn't 104 years old but I'm convinced he was around before electricity.
You could usually find Bill sound asleep in his office. When he walked he moved less than a foot a second and his thoughts were processed even slower. Bill used to work full-time at OPG but since retiring he came back to work on contract; most likely because he slept better at work than he did at home.
So although his cubicle was only 20 feet from mine, I could hear Bill slowly walking towards me for at least a full minute. When he arrived at my cubicle he was out of breath and gasping a little.
He smiled and said slowly, “I hear that someone needs help with their erections.”
As he smiled I could see the space between his upper dentures and his gums where some food was stuck.
To quote Alice Cooper, “Welcome to my nightmare”.
To make this wonderful situation even more enjoyable for me, Mauro, my next door neighbour, left a note on my desk while I was away at lunch.
“Max - heard you’re having problems with your erection, this should help. Love, the Team”.
A small blue pill was taped to the bottom of the note.
Yeah. Quite a life I've got. Quite a life.
Yeah, as if an engineer’s skin isn’t white enough, she had to go and say that. Visions of my worst nightmare entered my mind.
My face must have had a look of slightly confused mixed with scared because she followed with, “Your erections! Your penetrations and erections; I’d like to help you Max. We need to hurry this part”.
That's when I understood what she was talking about. Ludka was referring to some design work I was doing for her which involved erecting some brackets for nuclear valves and putting in several new penetrations through a containment wall for electrical cables.
Putting cable penetrations through a wall is a big deal at a nuclear plant as it requires regulatory approval. Ludka was worried that this work wasn't getting designed quickly enough to meet our schedule.
“I will bring you help Max!” and off she went, bobbing away like…well, a Big Chicken.
A few minutes later, I heard footsteps outside of my cubicle and knew exactly who it was. Bill, who was at least 104 years old, stood five feet tall and was shrinking more with every day was coming to see me.
Okay, maybe he wasn't 104 years old but I'm convinced he was around before electricity.
You could usually find Bill sound asleep in his office. When he walked he moved less than a foot a second and his thoughts were processed even slower. Bill used to work full-time at OPG but since retiring he came back to work on contract; most likely because he slept better at work than he did at home.
So although his cubicle was only 20 feet from mine, I could hear Bill slowly walking towards me for at least a full minute. When he arrived at my cubicle he was out of breath and gasping a little.
He smiled and said slowly, “I hear that someone needs help with their erections.”
As he smiled I could see the space between his upper dentures and his gums where some food was stuck.
To quote Alice Cooper, “Welcome to my nightmare”.
To make this wonderful situation even more enjoyable for me, Mauro, my next door neighbour, left a note on my desk while I was away at lunch.
“Max - heard you’re having problems with your erection, this should help. Love, the Team”.
A small blue pill was taped to the bottom of the note.
Yeah. Quite a life I've got. Quite a life.
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1 comment:
Would you file this under Office Politics, Office Protocal or Office Romance??
A Good chuckle on this one..
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