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It was while working at a Nuclear Generating Station in Ontario, Canada that the author met many American contractors who specialized in nuclear contract work within North America.

These men and women jokingly called themselves Nuclear Whores and the website in which they found work was called http://www.roadwhore.com/.

According to the online ‘Urban Dictionary’, a Road Whore is defined as: “A temporary worker from out of town. In engineering and construction, road whores seek out and find massive bonuses, high pay rates, hazardous duty pay, per diem, housing allowances and any form of premium remuneration”.

These new friends taught him the ways of the contractor and he soon began a life as a nuclear contract engineer, moving from project to project around Ontario.

Soon after beginning his life as a nuclear contract worker, the author met and fell in love with a news journalist while doing improvisation at Second City in Toronto.

Three years later they got married. A year after that they gave birth to a son.

Unfortunately their love was short-lived. It ended two years into their marriage while living in Kincardine, Ontario while working under contract at the Bruce Nuclear Facility and she was home with their son.

One day, she packed everything including their son and moved to Oakville leaving the author in Kincardine, all alone.


Like many parents who suddenly find themselves inthis position, the author was surprised when told he was not an equal parent of his 1 year old son, but was what his divorce lawyer referred to as a “Secondary Parent”.

As such, he was not allowed to talk to his son whenever he wanted or to see him whenever he wanted. He had to fight to see his own son, and this took time.Without his boy in his daily life, he couldn’t eat, sleep or work. He was absolutely devastated.

After a few days, he went to his family physician who was immediately concerned for the author’s well‑being. This country doctor suggested a personal remedy of his for overcoming difficult times; he told him to concentrate all his thoughts away from the negativity of the present to the funny, happy stories of his past. He suggested trying to relive these memories, by recollecting them through painting, writing, songs, etc...

So, he wrote.

Each day, he concentrated on one funny, true story from his past. He would think about it for hours at a time, sometimes all day, and then would write it down. It took 42 days for the author’s lawyer to get visitation permission to visit his son in Oakville and in that time he wrote the stories that compile this blog.





Ally Grayson and the Tent-Trailer


When I was 20 years old I thought Ally Grayson was the sexiest girl in the universe. When she called I would come running.

This was the case one summer night when I got a call from her late in the evening; her whispered voice told me to meet her out in the trailer in her mom's backyard.

Adrenaline and pure fear shot instantly through my body. Her mom and step-father had a fold up tent trailer that they used on summer vacations. When not in use, they parked it in their backyard right under their bedroom window. Ally often slept outside at night as she said it felt like camping.

Her step-father was a giant of a man who worked as a butcher. He did not like me dating Ally and made that very clear, telling me in no uncertain terms that I was not to touch his princess or else there would be consequences to pay. As he told me this upon our first meeting I could see the complete set of butcher knives he had in his kitchen. I really didn't want to find out what he meant by consequences.

But I was 20 years old with hormones racing through my body. You might as well ask the sun not to shine or the grass not to grow...I WAS going to meet her in the trailer, consequences be damned.

Ally enjoyed the fact that I was deathly afraid of her step-father, enjoying the adrenaline rush that came with our trysts. Plus, she enjoyed having both her step father and I wrapped around her little finger.

Knowing the dangers of her step-father, the butcher, I really should have known better than to pull a prank on Ally. But again, I was 20 years old and an idiot. Besides, it was a little harmless prank that ended with Ally and a couple of her friends being soaked in water. It was all in good fun.

However, my little prank resulted in Ally and her friends deciding to take this opportunity to get their revenge.

I didn't know this at the time, but Ally's parents were away for a few days. Ally turned on her parent's bedroom light and television so that I would believe the butcher was at home in bed watching the evening news.

A fold-up tent trailer has beds in both sides of it. Their idea was to get me to come over, Ally would be waiting in the bed on the one side of the trailer and her friends would be all hiding on the other side, unbeknownst to me. Inside the trailer was so dark you couldn’t see your hand in front of your face, so it was easy for her friends to hide without me knowing.

The plan was for Ally to get me near-naked and then Ally would make a lot of noise. I would be so afraid of her step-father hearing her I would be in a panicked state. Then, when her friends jumped out from the other side of the trailer I would scream and they would laugh, having gotten their revenge.

And their plan was near perfect.

I did race to Ally's house after receiving her phone call. I did see the light on in her parent’s room and hear the television on. I tiptoed to the trailer and slowly opened the door.

It was indeed pitch dark inside. I heard a voice from the far left side, where one of the beds was. It was Ally. "I'm over here waiting for you", she said.

I couldn't see my hand in front of my face. I certainly couldn't see Ally on the one side or her friends hiding on the other side. I reached out with my hands so that I didn’t run into anything and moved slowly towards her voice.

"I can't wait to touch you. Take off your clothes and get into bed", Ally purred.

I have never gotten out of my clothes so fast. Within seconds I was standing in my underwear. We had not yet consummated our love and I was ready to burst. I was sure tonight was the night.

I jumped into bed and started kissing her neck and lips. She started to moan really loudly.

I broke out in a cold sweat. "Stop! Quiet! Your step-dad!" I begged. My sentences weren't coherent at all but it was all I could muster at the time.

This only made Ally yell even more, "Don't stop! Fill me with your love! Keep going!"

I have never been so scared or confused on what to do in my life.

Her friends didn't make a sound. At least, I didn't hear them at all.

What I did hear though was steps outside of the trailer walking towards us...and they were getting faster and louder...someone was coming to the trailer.

This obviously surprised Ally too because she gulped, "Daddy?" She must have thought her step-dad had come home early.

That's when I bolted.

I had nowhere to go! I quickly thought to hide on the other side of the trailer. The trailer was all of 15 feet long so it's not like it was the best plan but I certainly couldn't leave through the door. I could picture the butcher right outside with his large cleaver in his hands. His voice saying, "There will be consequences!" kept going through my brain.

As the sound of footsteps outside were almost at the trailer door I ran full speed to the other side in the pitch dark. I dove onto the other bed, but instead of hitting the mattress I landed on one of Ally's friends who was hiding there. She let out a scream like no other and I fell off of the bed and landed with a loud thud on my back in front of the door.

The door opened.

I screamed. And I mean I screamed like a little girl in pure terror.

I was certain I was going to die by butcher knife. I yelled out, "Please God No!" and crossed my arms over my face to protect it while holding my breath in absolute fear.

Standing there at the doorway was Ally’s neighbour, Mr. Johnson, a kind elderly man who lived next door.

Apparently he was going for a walk outside when he heard Ally's loud moans and not knowing what was going on, he thought she might be in trouble so he walked over to investigate. When he heard the scream, he opened the door expecting the worst.

And the worst he did find.

Specifically, me half-naked on my back with a look of pure horror on my face.

He opened the trailer door wide to allow some light in and, looking inside the camper, saw the 5 girls in there with me. Seeing the others for the first time also made me gasp in fear and utter confusion. To say I had no idea what was going on was an understatement.

Although I was very relieved to not see Ally's step-father and his butcher knife, I was certain I was in for some yelling; I felt like a kid who had been caught doing something very wrong.

But there was no yelling at all. In fact, I don't exactly know what he thought was going on but he seemed amused at me naked with 5 girls. I say this because he had a funny half-smile on his face and said, "Nice work lad. Nice work". He closed the trailer door and walked away.

As the door closed, all 5 girls broke out in instant laughter as I let out a breath of pure relief.

I knew from that moment on that sex was a scary, scary thing.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

I'm surprised you can remember that far back, being so old and all.

Anonymous said...

Not laughed so much in ages.
Absolutely brilliant! What a fantastic memory.

Anonymous said...

That is one of the funniest story I've read in a long long time. Its amazing that u can still remember everything.

Anonymous said...

Such a classic Max story - what a missed opportunity. Although few men can say they have been naked with 5 women at once.

SuperStenoGirl said...

Oh that was brilliant! Thank you for such a great laugh!

Unknown said...

Nobody admits that you know, to anyone. But, hey, great story, I could see it all in my minds eye.